A good day...

Even after a night in a hospital bed, 3 feedings, and just 2 hours of sleep, today was a good day! Today was a VERY good day! Owen was discharged today around noonish. He's weighing in at a hefty 3# 13 1/2 oz and 15 3/4 inches long. He has done great since getting home and we are all so glad to be home as a family again-for good, I pray!

We were held up a bit at discharge because Owen's hearing had to be retested. Apparently, the report given to me that he passed, was wrong:-( His left ear has failed twice, so off to another specialist we'll go. I'm hoping it is just due to some fluid or because his ear canals are sooo small.

He also has an eye infection that he is getting antibiotic ointment for-not a big deal, but still a concern.

Nonetheless, we are home! We are mostly settled in and Owen survived the afternoon and evening with two crazy brothers being quite rambuncious. It wasn't 10 minutes of being home when Tim and I were talking and bringing things in when we heard Jacob say "Owen is hiding"...we looked over to his car seat where he was safely resting and all we see is teddy bear. Oh well, that's what the monitor is for, right?

Lord willing life will be pretty uneventful for the next couple of weeks as we acclimate to, well, doing nothing:-) Then we'll have bunches of appointments to keep a close eye on Owey. By the way, I know that looks like owie as in the boo-boo, but work with me here, it's O-E:-)

It's time to eat (again) and then off to bed for a nap:-) I look forward to updating more about Owen and our family in the coming weeks. I will post pictures soon (too lazy tonight;-)

God Bless You All!!!

Ughhhh...

I don't even have the energy to post a Bible verse this time...how pathetic. I'm down because Owen hasn't been discharged for no good reason. Tim and I took monitor training today and infant CPR-no, it didn't matter that I resuscitate babies during deliveries or that I am certified in both health care CPR and Neonatal resuscitation...are you detecting bitterness here?

Anyway, now I have to head into the hospital tonight when Tim gets home. I have to stay overnight and "prove" that I can feed Owen every three hours-I have to bring an alarm-can I just say "ughhhhhhh" again. Please don't get me wrong-I am ecstatic to have him but who in their right mind would be looking forward to every three hour feedings (that take almost an hour of painstaking effort) around the clock? Not to mention the fact that we'll be homebound thru the winter...I know, I know-be grateful that I have a baby to hold and whine about.

I am. REALLY...I AM! I'm just tired and stressed. This has been a long 4 months and it's going to be an even longer 18 years:-)

Owen is doing well. He's up to 3 pounds 12 oz. He passed his hearing and eye exams. He is going home on a very obnoxious apnea monitor. May I paint the picture for you? It's a box that looks a bit like a small DVD player but it is to be carried in a pouch 3 times it's size with a gazzillion extra supplies. It's about 3 times heavier than Owen too. He'll be connected with leads to the machine and it will monitor his breathing and heart rate. If the leads or connections get disturbed, it sounds in a constant horrific beep, much like a smoke alarm. Seriously.

It's made so you can hear it anywhere in the house. I want to make mention that the neighbors will also know when it alarms. Worst thing? If he does have a true "alarm" it won't stop the insane beeping until the alarm reason is corrected-as in his breathing gets regular again or his heart rate levels rises if it's low or hmmm.... decreases if it was high? I'm thinking the annoying beeping will raise my heart rate so why will his get back to normal? Worse yet? You can't even unplug it-it has a battery back-up...there's no escape.

Ok, so maybe you're taking my rantings as complaining and the like...yea-it may be a little but I tried to mix sarcasm and humor in too.

I am truly very thankful to have a baby who needs a monitor or 45 minute feedings to complain about. Entering into the world of no sleep for the next who knows how many months just wears on a person. I am quite stressed and emotional still...they say that should end about 2 weeks after the delivery. I have 2 questions. Define "end" and who is 'they'?

Owen is still extremely small and susceptible to- well, everything. Please pray for his continued growth, health, and improvement. Also please pray for grace for his crazy mother and for the rest of the family as they deal with his crazy mother. Next time I'm sure the tone will change yet again as the hormones turn;-)

Thanksgiving Blessings!

Psalm 92:1

It is a good thing to give Thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O Most High.

I have some wonderful news to be thankful about! But first, I hope you all are having a wonderful blessed Thanksgiving amongst friends and family enjoying their company, a bountiful meal, and making great memories! I know this is a day that makes me slightly weepy at the thought of ALL I have to be thankful for~reflecting on all I have, which I do not deserve just astonishes me...God is so GOOD!!! Happy Thanksgiving to each of you!

Here are some things Owey (our loving nickname pronounced O-E) is up to nowadays...we are so pleased with his progress-he's really filling out. He looks like a different baby than I delivered 3 weeks ago. He weighed 3 pounds 7.2 ounces last night. We are in full-force heading home preparations too! Slated possibly for this weekend!!!!!!! He's passed his car seat test (on the first try) which is a huge blessing because we won't have to purchase a different seat. He's also taking the bottles that we have at home, so that means all we have to do is buy new nipples and not all new bottles. He had his circumcision and it's healing well and he hasn't missed a beat from it. He's also off all medication except a vitamin in his morning bottle which he dislikes:-p. He has an eye exam and hearing test coming up so please pray that he passes those with flying colors. He is also in an open air crib now, maintaining his own temperature and is so cute in his little preemie clothes and blankies. Of course he swims in his clothes but before I know it, he'll outgrow them just as he did his first diaper size-he's now into the regular preemie size diapers.

He's such a sweet content baby (please Lord, let him stay this way;-) and all the nurses love him. I'll post an update soon with his coming home info and pictures.

God Bless! ~Owen's Mommy

Owen's growin'! He's 2 weeks old today!

Hi! TJ and Jake here...we had fun today celebrating Owen's turning 2 weeks old! We decorated the tree today and it was fun-who knew one branch could hold 95% of the ornaments?...





Isn't Owen just the cutest little bundle? We love being his big brothers and can't wait for him to come home. Please pray he keeps doing well and gains weight quickly, as that will get him home real fast! He busted thru the 3 pound mark yesterday and today he weighs a whoppin' 3 pounds 2 oz...

He's very expressive...this expression is like he's thinking "MOM, are you going to take 25 pictures of the same thing over and over and put them all on the blog when they look don't look much different?"...mom would say "yes, I am-scowl or no scowl;-)"

Ok, well it looks like this update has worn Owen out...I guess we'll head for bed & so will Owen-he's gotta grow now:-)

Lots of pictures...I'm 1 week old!

I'm a big boy! I have gained weight over the past week and am back up to my birth weight of 2 pounds 13 ounces (I was 2 pounds 9 ounces at my lowest).






















This is my 7 year old BIG brother TJ-he loves me!!! He rubbed my cheek and kissed my head...shhhh-don't tell the nurses though!






















This is my very proud mommy...she just can't get enough of me! She says she could sit and cuddle me and watch me grow for hours!





















I'm so little when compared to my daddy's big, strong hand! I really like to hold things-but my parents fingers are the best!

Excuse me...I burped.






















This is my sweet brother Jacob-he's 3. He loves me so much!






















I'm so cozy, comfy when mom is here!





















Daddy's first time giving me my bottle. I'm up to my max feeding amount of 20 cc every 3 hours with full strength formula and I love it!

One of my favorite past-times!






















So much fun to visit!






















Here's lookin' at you kid!






















TJ's kisses are soooo sweet!

All this visiting has made me tired!

I'm such a happy boy. I got my umbilical line out last night and my nurse did my footprints. I have such cute, tiny feet!



















Gotta grow now...I love you this much!

Sweet baby!

Betrayed vs. Blessed

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

I want to share my heart with you.

I woke up one week ago with blurred vision and increasingly high blood pressure. I woke up one week ago speculating that 3 long months of bedrest would soon be ending-2 weeks or less I thought to myself. I woke up not scared, not worried, not thinking that my long journey of difficult and unknown times would be ending in days, not weeks.

I would like to say that the next week that unraveled was a time of great strength and godliness for me. I wish I could say that I worked hard through each moment to glorify God and be a great witness for His kingdom...

I wasn't though. None of us wake up each morning thinking today may be our last. That would be a glum world and life to live. Even I did not realize a week ago that the days to come could be my last. I did not see the events as "serious" or "life-threatening". Thank GOD that in our weakness He is strong. Thank GOD for friends, family, and church family that prayed over me and BELIEVED that GOD can do anything-even when I called on Him not.

I am able to say that I was borderline incoherent-so I'm not really feeling so hard on myself (as it may sound). I am glad for what I remember and for what I don't (I think:-). I went into Friday evening (the proposed time for delivering Owen via c-section~my first c-section) thinking on the verse above-knowing only the part about the prayer of the righteous man is powerful and effective. I was able to find out the reference and think on this verse throughout the afternoon-while I waited to meet Owen. While I hoped for the best but still waited for the worst.

It is incredible to think back on all the thoughts and emotions I spent thinking on his life. Wondering what would be....

I went into Friday evening, with surgery imminent, thinking I was about to have a baby-very small and sickly, with a possibly fatal condition. Very likely unable to breathe on his own (preterm or not) and afflicted with a skeletal condition causing dwarfism. I had months of test results from multiple doctors and ultrasound locations and technicians "prooving" these things. I was thankful to be prepared even as little as I knew. I was hoping for the best but thinking realistically that the worst may happen.

Preparing for surgery I was prayed for and over multiple times-even as the surgery was nearing and the days to come unfolded-the prayers of others grew as my focus on God weakened and I distanced myself from reality.

The events after the afternoon of Friday the 3rd go blurry as I was highly medicated and increasingly ill. When 6:46pm rolled around-I hardly can tell you that I knew Owen was here. Everyone around me though, knew that not only was he here, but that God had performed what seems to be a miracle.

Owen was born breathing, crying, small. He peed alot too, so I hear. I was not processing, nor believing what was being told to me. I couldn't quite grasp that 3 months of medical results from specialists upon specialists was -well, wrong. Owen was perfect. I still couldn't see it-I waited for the worst. I couldn't (and still can't) understand. No one can explain it.

The next couple days were also a blur as my condition did not improve. I was hardly able to lift my arms or legs (I could hardly press the button on my nurse call light to ask for help).

How could this happen? Have I been betrayed?...

The results that have come from my 3 months of bedrest weren't betrayal at all. I am finally starting to accept that I have a newborn now weighing in at a puny 2 pounds 9 ounces fighting for his life. He's been a fighter from the start-even when his own mother wasn't accepting that he might just be "ok".

None of us know what is to come. We don't know our own futures, nor that of our children or family. We aren't promised a great future of health or strength. But I am blessed. I have so many things in my life and hopefully future that all define blessed. I was blessed even in my darkest hour-when I was far from God-in our weakness, He is strong!

I focused so much on what would be the outcome of Owen's arrival that I lost sight somewhere along the journey...of course I don't know what is to come. All of life is unknown. It is a great mystery. It is a wonder and blessing that we get to discover and see what develops along the way. It is our honor to grow in our walk with the Lord and bring glory to Him! We have the responsibility to be prepared and to plan to our best ability, but none of us know what is to come. We can only pray that God be glorified through our journey.

I find myself, as I finally start to accept Owen's arrival, realizing I am concerned for his future since we do not know what his health will be. I am finally finding great comfort though, in realizing that none of us know what our future health entails. I will be given the grace to accept and work through what God has in store for me.

I am being redundant on this point-I know, but it is so powerful and vivid to me right now.

The 3 months I've spent growing Owen will now fade as a distant memory as each day reveals new things for our lives with him. I now pray for his future-whereas before, I prayed that he would have a future. Actually, I covet your prayers for his future~he has a long way to "grow".

I hope this story of my heart makes sense. I know it's kinda out there-we all know we shouldn't share things in emotional moments when we can't sleep. It has been a long, emotional journey-and it's not over, but just beginning. I'm thinking that spanish rice can't compare to the tears and emotion that have (and continue to) poured out of me over the past week.

I can hardly believe a week has passed. But, it also doesn't seem like 7 years have passed since my title as a mother began-November 9th, 1999 when TJ arrived into this world 5 days overdue weighing in at 8 pounds 3 ounces. What growth I've experienced since his blessed arrival. Now I can boast of 3 miracles, at least until they wake up and start tearing up the house, getting fingerprints everywhere and causing what seems to be unending piles of laundry.

It's funny-does God think to Himself when we, His children go to bed, "Ahhh...they are finally asleep".

I'd have it no other way-isn't that the key to the heart of a mother? We'd have it no other way.

I have so much more I could share...I am humbled to be able to share these ramblings with you-thank you for your interest and for sharing in the journey with me. God has been so good-I pray I continue to think on the blessings in my life as I work through more trying times as Owen (and all my family) grows and as more bumps in the road occur.

I plan to keep updating this blog with his progress and pictures. I hope you'll check back and continue to keep us in your prayers.

I am blessed to say I believe in miracles~I have proof that they exist. Mine came in a 2 pound, 13 ounce body-see picture below-Thank you Jesus!

Announcing Owen!

Psalm 139:13 & 14

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Hi! My name is Owen Elijah Valiant. I was born Friday November 3rd at 6:46pm. I weighed 2 pounds 13 ounces and was 14 1/4 inches long. I'm told I am a miracle baby. My mom and dad are praising God for me...the doctors say that I'm small but mighty! I am 5 days old now. Mom hasn't been able to write since she was so sick in the hospital. They made mommy have an emergency c-section to deliver me and she says she doesn't really remember all the details and is very emotional over my arrival. Mommy came home last night (Tuesday) and has been very tired from the "whole thing". I have to stay in the hospital for a while since I'm so little and need some help from the doctors and nurses to get big and strong. Mommy says she is still in shock over my miraculous arrival. Doctors had told her and daddy (even shown them proof) that I would be sick and have some things wrong with me-even not be able to breathe on my own. Now that I'm here, my doctors are saying I am going to be fine...mommy was just more sick than they thought and it affected my growth but I was a fighter and protected myself by allowing my head to grow more than the rest of me. I'm already catching the rest of me up with my cute head and I don't need any help breathing at all right now! I just lie in my cozy isolette and grow and look forward to visits from my family. I love my pacifiers too! Mommy is going to be ok too...she went through some difficult times but is getting better and is trying to rest and get her strength back so she can visit me more and take care of my brothers TJ and Jake again. Her doctor is still watching her closely but thinks everything will be just fine. Isn't God good! He really loves His children!

Mommy will be updating with pictures, progress, and thoughts soon so check back so you can watch me grow and learn more about cute lil' me!

32 weeks & spanish rice?

Galatians 5:22 & 23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (NIV)

What an awesome milestone...I'm 32 weeks today! I saw my doctor Friday and there's not much news to report. I am however, having a hard time waiting for this coming Friday's ultrasound. If I could wish away the next 4 days, I would~and I know that's not the right attitude. Tomorrow (Nov 1st) is the Harvest party for TJ at his Wednesday night church class...he has to dress up as a Bible character or theme. A friend of mine (thanks Karen) gave me the idea to do the Fruits of the Spirit. I will use clear packing tape and label the play fruit he has with each quality and tape them to his clothes, at least-that's the plan...so the verse above has been on my heart for both TJ's "costume" and because I am struggling with so many of the "fruits"-especially patience.

Women are irrational creatures, aren't they? I am guessing mostly women read this...so I think you'll understand and find this story I'm going to share quite funny. You may be wondering about the spanish rice in the title line? Well, I'll try to share the short version of my "I'm an irrational woman" story.

Sunday, after church, I sent Tim to the store to get the ingredients to make a meal I've been craving-stuffed green peppers. He got everything I needed, but he couldn't find one thing-canned spanish rice. His cell phone wasn't working (so he couldn't call home and find out what to do) so he came home with everything but the can of rice (the secret ingredient) and instead got a box mix hoping it would work. Of course, it wouldn't. Have I mentioned I don't even like rice? It's just the combo of the ingredients in the recipe that works and it's about the only rice dish I'll eat. So now we have all these ingredients that we can't use. He offers to go back out and try another store. I agree since it seems better than returning a bunch of ingredients to Meijer. When he finally gets home, he's empty handed and I realize he hasn't had lunch and he's literally spent half the afternoon, starved, trying to make me happy. So we have these ingredients we can't use, he's getting lunch at 3pm, and I haven't even spent anytime with him on my birthday weekend (my birthday was Saturday, but I am a bit of a birthday's need to be super special freak). So, the "emotion" of the situation overcomes me while the poor guy is trying to eat his "lunch" and I start bawling. He, of course, was dumbfounded and was probably thinking "what are you crying about you crazy woman, I've spent half the day trying to please you and you repay me with crying?" Just then there's a knock at the door. I'm mortified because I'm not a graceful crier. I'm a full fledged, red, swollen face, congested nose, type of crier. It was my friend Jen-just dropping by something unexpectedly. I quickly apologize to her telling her she's just caught me in an emotional "moment" (truth is, I probably wouldn't have stopped crying for sometime if it weren't for her stopping by). So, she feels badly for not calling first and asks if there is anything she can do. I try to explain, I really don't even know what I'm crying about when Tim blurts out "can you find us some spanish rice in a can?" Again, I'm MORTFIED! I mean, I wasn't crying about spanish rice-how could he think that?:-) So, I try to cover for my selfish, sinful behavior-but, being the mother of 3 herself, she knew I wasn't crying about spanish rice either. She did tell me she was laughing inside because Tim really thought I was crying about spanish rice. But, the story doesn't end there...the next day I was getting Jacob lunch (his staple of a corn dog and pretzels-and lots of ketchup and mustard...it's a food group, right?) as there was a knock at my door. It was Jen-she came UNANNOUNCED AGAIN-brave woman-bearing 4 cans of spanish rice:-) So, the story ends with me getting my yummy dinner of stuffed green peppers and mashed potatoes and I even suprised Tim by having it ready when he arrived home from work. It was delicious, all thanks to my WONDERFUL husband's efforts and loose lips:-) And thanks to Jen too!

I will hopefully have real baby news to report Friday afternoon:-) God Bless!

31 weeks, so busy, & Jake's baaaaaccccckkkkkk!

1 Timothy 4:8

For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come. (NKJV)

I like this verse...it helps me to realize that during this season of essentially no physical exercise, it's ok-because my walk with God (spiritual exercise) helps me in all ways and holds promise for this life and for eternal life (that which is to come). This verse comes to mind this week specifically because of my newly diagnosed gestational diabetes. It seems physical exercise would help this condition, but I of course can not exercise so I have additional challenges with good blood sugar control. Honestly, so far, it's not been so bad. I'm only on small amounts of insulin twice a day and it's given in a shot in this cool pen that you dial up the number of units and just push a button-super easy. It's way easier than drawing up a syringe. Anyway, that aspect of life is going pretty well and it has kept me busy with extra appts and paying attention to the time for blood sugar checks, etc.

I am again happy to be at a new milestone in gestation-31 weeks! Only 6 weeks to go (at least that's the plan). I feel well and just a little overwhelmed after almost 3 months of barely caring for myself, to be caring for Jacob again. He's a handful (to say the least) but he is a sweet 3 year old and is managable. He finally warmed up to me a little more today and sat on my lap for about a half hour and looked at pictures with me and then we sang the abc's. It may not sound like much but coming from the kid who's back home saying things like "Daddy, I love you. And I love TJ. And I like mommy."-it's wonderful. Ah, the joys of mommihood-always next best. I know if he got a boo-boo or is scared, he'll come runnin'. Another nice thing today-he was lying on my lap this afternoon and fell asleep. Owen must've kicked him in the noggin 25 times but apparently Mr. Thick Skull (Jacob), was unaffected. It was very sweet to have him nap on me:-).

I have a check-up here in Lafayette with Dr. Sinnott Friday. Just routine stuff, hopefully. Oh yeah, I have a huge praise to share: we've been working with HMO because apparently, all the Indy visits and testing should've been pre-approved (and they weren't because we didn't know any better) but we were able to get back-dated requests on everything from before and even some authorizations for more genetic testing my Indy MD's want to do AND it was all approved! :-) A huge blessing because everything costs A LOT! So, I am traveling to Indy tomorrow (Thursday) for some more testing. Unfortunately, the tests are projected to take 4 weeks (or more) but I just think of them as formality and if we get any results from them, they will just help us better project care for Owen. I also go back for a growth comparison ultrasound Friday the 3rd.

We appreciate your continued prayers for both Owen's and my health. As we are in the midst of week 11 1/2 of bedrest, I know Tim and the boys are also strained and tired. God has been very gracious to us and we continue to find comfort in Him in these times of challenges, confusion and even frustration. He is always good.

30 weeks and Shock & Awe

Romans 12:12

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

I am rejoicing to be 30 weeks today. Yesterday, I woke up to a phone call from my doctor's office (Dr. Sinnott who is wonderful)~his nurse Linda is who called actually (who is also WONDERFUL). She called to tell me that delivering here in Lafayette would be ok per Dr. Sinnott and Dr. Chua (the neonatalogist). Which is a relief and has been a concern since the Indy MD's have recommended delivering in Indy.

Then she proceeded to say, "hey, while I have you on the phone, I'll look up Friday's lab results." Which were all great until she got to the glucose level from my 1 hour glucose tolerance test. Oops, just barely failed it. Never failed one with my other pregnancies so I wasn't too worried. I even tried to talk her out of the 3 hour diagnostic test to check for gestational diabetes, but she managed to get me in right away this morning (yea). So, after spending the morning at the office getting the 4 blood draws, I came home and spent the afternoon resting. TJ arrived home and the phone rang. Linda said, you failed miserably (she said it nicer though) and will have to see the endocrinologist. I'll call you back to let you know when I can get you in. Moments later, she calls back and says, "can you head over TODAY at 4pm?"...sure, I have nothing better to do.

So, before I know it, I'm in an office learning how to check my own blood sugar and give myself insulin!!! Craziness! I'm teetering between laughter and horror. Well, this gives me something else to do. Owen and I are a great pair-we can't seem to get anything right this pregnancy.

So, now I'm back home (Tim's out doing a show;-) and have all this to process. I'm not overly concerned, yet I DO know that Insulin dependent gestational diabetes is (or can be) a big deal and must be taken seriously. As if you didn't have enough to pray for us about? The good news is, either I'm so shell shocked about this new development that I'm numb or I just have a blessed peace that God is showing me how good He is and how in control of this whole situation HE IS! It's His plan, so I guess I finally am to the point where I am saying "whatever you say God...it's your plan. I'll take what you have for me."

I think that's it for the news for now. Owen is moving about like the crazy baby he is. The boys are all well and we are so thankful for everything everyone is doing for us to ease the challenges we've faced. I'm feeling more hopeful again and so appreciate your prayers (and continued prayers;-). Jacob will be returning to us this weekend. My mom and brother Andrew will be making the 6 hour trip from Wisconsin to bring him home. They have been so wonderful to care for Jacob so selflessly. I know it will be hard on them to give Jake back (that sounds weird). We are praying Jacob makes an easy transition back to us and can understand (as much as a 3 yr-old can) how things must be during the day while I am still on bedrest. The light activity is going well, so my doctor felt it would be ok to let us (me) try to care for Jake during the day. He won't get the outtings he's used to but I will try to do a variety of things with him while he waits for TJ to come home from school and then Tim to come home from work. I am at peace about it and believe it will go well. I don't know when I'll update next as I don't have any plans for anything to be worth reporting for a while;-) But, I'll post sooner than later I'm sure. Thanks for checking in.

29 weeks & 2 appt updates

Psalm 130:5

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.

No news is good news, right? That's kinda how I feel right now after a very long day (Thursday). I feel hopeful, yet very down, and somewhat alone. I guess it's the toll of 10 weeks of bedrest and concern for Owen.

Appt #1 Thursday: The geneticist was very kind and took lots of time with us. They were very thorough and he seemed very certain of the few things he could tell regarding Owen. He did not have the concern the Perinatalogist had about Owen's head. He was able to point out all the suture lines in Owen's skull, which were open, and not fused which is good. (Sutures are the openings in the skull baby's must have to be able to be born and have a moldable head-plus, they give us room for our brains to grow and then they gradually close thru childhood.)

He confirmed that all of Owen's limbs are proportionately small and his chest is small also-a bit smaller than his limbs. Which leads him to best guess that Owen does have a less common type of skeletal or bone dysplasia (also known as dwarfism). The biggest concern with his chest size is that his respiratory system wouldn't be strong enough to support himself and he may need assistance with a ventilator. He recommended further tests (to aide in diagnosis) but they are expensive and may not tell us anything (and they take 4 weeks to run). So we are checking with our insurance to see if they will cover the tests.

Owen is also breech which concerns me and is uncomfortable to carry with his head in my ribs and feet dancing on my bladder. Next up? I have to return for a follow up ultrasound in 3 weeks, mostly just to monitor growth and assess for any further complications that may arise between now and then. My bedrest with very light activity is going ok, but frankly, I have no endurance and my muscles are very weak so being up is painful and exhausting.

Appt #2 Friday: Dr. Sinnott was great as usual. He's my regular OB and it was just the routine check up. He did decide to do a round of shots called betamethasone, which is 2 shots of steroids given a day apart to help Owen's lung tissue further develop in the event that he would deliver early. Dr. Sinnott did say if Owen doesn't turn from breech to head down, that I would have to have a c-section, which isn't such a surprise but I don't want one and was hopeful that there may be some options to try first, but no luck. No other changes in my care. Return check-up in 2 weeks is what's up next.

By the way, I made it to 29 weeks as of this past Tuesday. Only 6 1/2 weeks to go!

On a positive note, Jacob is coming home to us next weekend assuming no catastrophes occur in the meantime;-) I am hopeful that he will be a good boy and not too much of a handful for me to take care of during the day.

Please continue to be praying for us... Specifically:

~For Owen's health, his growth, and that he would turn head down.
~Also that our insurance would cover all the tests and care in the future and that we've already had.
~My health is a continual concern as well with the blood pressure and preterm labor that is possible.
~That Jacob would be able to come home next weekend, that he would have a safe trip, and that I would be able to care for him.
~More days have been hard than easy for me lately. As I said above I really feel very down and alone, and I am not sleeping well-so please continue to pray that I remain hopeful and trusting in God.

Nothing is impossible with God...He loves Owen more than even I do and will be faithful in His care for us.

Finally...not bad news

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

The call from the genetic counselor finally came this afternoon. I am so relieved to have confirmation that Owen's tests all came back negative for the types (only 3) of skeletal dysplasia they can test for. So, this is what this news means to me. It means he doesn't have the one type they can test for that I was dreading he may have because it was a type that wasn't compatable with life. I have more hope now that whatever he does have, we can deal with. I am still leary heading back to Indy this Thursday that they will again douse my hopes with more bad news but on the other hand, I am hopeful that nothing they could tell me would be something untreatable. Thank you so much for your prayers! Please continue to pray for our upcoming appt this Thursday. Praise God!

Quick update

I spoke with the genetic counselor today. We are scheduled for next Thursday the 12th at IU Med Center with a geneticist (for another high level ultrasound). She also hopes to have the amnio results possibly as early as this Friday but definitely by the appt next week.

Please pray for me to be more encouraged (today was a very down day) and that we would get the results of the amnio quickly. Please also pray that the geneticist would be able to properly diagnose Owen as I hear often ultrasound diagnoses are incorrect.

After this recent appt I have less hope for Owen's health. I know I just need to trust in God and accept that His plan is perfect even when I don't get it (or like it).

28 weeks and Appt update

I know it's a little blurry but the photo above is a side view or profile shot of Owen putting his thumb to his mouth. The image to the left of his hand is umbilical cord;-)

This is a profile (side view) of Owen's Head/face and chest, the blob at the top is the placenta for inquiring minds:-)

Psalm 139:13,14

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I had to read all of the previous verses just to write this update to remind myself of what I TRULY believe...

I believe I just need to trust in God. (Proverbs 3:5,6)

I believe I need to rejoice in the Lord and present my requests to him. (Philippians 4:4-7)

I believe I can do all things with the strength of the Lord. (Philippians 4:13)

I believe that God is the creator of both GOOD and BAD times and we should praise Him for both. (Ecclesiastes 7:14)

I believe I must have hope in the Lord and He will help me and renew my strength. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

And I believe that facing trials will develop in me perseverance. (James 1:2-3)

With all these truths...I still write today with heavy heart and a need to JUST rest in the Lord.

Today's visit included just an ultrasound and consultation with the perinatalogist. It was evident as the tech was doing measurements, that while Owen has grown about 2 weeks of growth in 2 weeks (good of course), that there are concerns now beyond just his small size (his size is approximately 1 pound 14 oz, whereas he should be around 2 pounds 4 oz). The amnio results were not back (and are expected to take even up to a week MORE) but the specialist now does believe that Owen has a form of Skeletal Dysplasia (Dwarfism) that is not a "common type" and she is having us come back as soon as a geneticist can be lined up to be present at another ultrasound to attempt to diagnose Owen's condition (no guarantees a diagnosis can be made).

I struggle with giving too many details and confusing/concerning you all, so I'll try to explain what I do know. The specific concerns are his chest circumference (size is less than the 2.5%) is very small (and once born not good for lung capacity/being able to breathe on your own). In addition, the shape of his head and the circumference seem to have worsened (hard to simplify what this means exactly).

I don't even know what all this means. I don't want to give up hope that Owen will be a healthy baby, regardless of the body that God gives him, but with that, I want to be realistic and prepared as much as I can be.

I will have to update again as soon as I know the next appt date. I also wanted to share that my "very light activity" is going ok, but after 8 weeks, I'm just too tired to do much of anything (physically) so it's not hard to still take it easy. I am still "officially" on bedrest, the difference is I can now just sit up some instead of constant sidelying positions and I can get up and wipe the counter off if it needs it or put my own messes away instead of having servant type service where I literally only got up to go to the bathroom, microwave food, or shower. So, it's better but still bedrest.

I am very thankful to hit an important gestational milestone in pregnancy, 28 weeks. I am thankful to feel the SO strong movements of this precious baby that grows inside me. I am thankful for my loving, serving husband and my beautiful healthy boys that I am so very blessed with. I am thankful for my health. And I am thankful for my salvation~I don't know how so many people in this world go through life without a Savior and hope for eternal life in Heaven. I pray if you are reading this that you have the same saving Faith in the Lord, but if you don't~you CAN!!! Please ask me about it!