32 weeks & spanish rice?

Galatians 5:22 & 23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (NIV)

What an awesome milestone...I'm 32 weeks today! I saw my doctor Friday and there's not much news to report. I am however, having a hard time waiting for this coming Friday's ultrasound. If I could wish away the next 4 days, I would~and I know that's not the right attitude. Tomorrow (Nov 1st) is the Harvest party for TJ at his Wednesday night church class...he has to dress up as a Bible character or theme. A friend of mine (thanks Karen) gave me the idea to do the Fruits of the Spirit. I will use clear packing tape and label the play fruit he has with each quality and tape them to his clothes, at least-that's the plan...so the verse above has been on my heart for both TJ's "costume" and because I am struggling with so many of the "fruits"-especially patience.

Women are irrational creatures, aren't they? I am guessing mostly women read this...so I think you'll understand and find this story I'm going to share quite funny. You may be wondering about the spanish rice in the title line? Well, I'll try to share the short version of my "I'm an irrational woman" story.

Sunday, after church, I sent Tim to the store to get the ingredients to make a meal I've been craving-stuffed green peppers. He got everything I needed, but he couldn't find one thing-canned spanish rice. His cell phone wasn't working (so he couldn't call home and find out what to do) so he came home with everything but the can of rice (the secret ingredient) and instead got a box mix hoping it would work. Of course, it wouldn't. Have I mentioned I don't even like rice? It's just the combo of the ingredients in the recipe that works and it's about the only rice dish I'll eat. So now we have all these ingredients that we can't use. He offers to go back out and try another store. I agree since it seems better than returning a bunch of ingredients to Meijer. When he finally gets home, he's empty handed and I realize he hasn't had lunch and he's literally spent half the afternoon, starved, trying to make me happy. So we have these ingredients we can't use, he's getting lunch at 3pm, and I haven't even spent anytime with him on my birthday weekend (my birthday was Saturday, but I am a bit of a birthday's need to be super special freak). So, the "emotion" of the situation overcomes me while the poor guy is trying to eat his "lunch" and I start bawling. He, of course, was dumbfounded and was probably thinking "what are you crying about you crazy woman, I've spent half the day trying to please you and you repay me with crying?" Just then there's a knock at the door. I'm mortified because I'm not a graceful crier. I'm a full fledged, red, swollen face, congested nose, type of crier. It was my friend Jen-just dropping by something unexpectedly. I quickly apologize to her telling her she's just caught me in an emotional "moment" (truth is, I probably wouldn't have stopped crying for sometime if it weren't for her stopping by). So, she feels badly for not calling first and asks if there is anything she can do. I try to explain, I really don't even know what I'm crying about when Tim blurts out "can you find us some spanish rice in a can?" Again, I'm MORTFIED! I mean, I wasn't crying about spanish rice-how could he think that?:-) So, I try to cover for my selfish, sinful behavior-but, being the mother of 3 herself, she knew I wasn't crying about spanish rice either. She did tell me she was laughing inside because Tim really thought I was crying about spanish rice. But, the story doesn't end there...the next day I was getting Jacob lunch (his staple of a corn dog and pretzels-and lots of ketchup and mustard...it's a food group, right?) as there was a knock at my door. It was Jen-she came UNANNOUNCED AGAIN-brave woman-bearing 4 cans of spanish rice:-) So, the story ends with me getting my yummy dinner of stuffed green peppers and mashed potatoes and I even suprised Tim by having it ready when he arrived home from work. It was delicious, all thanks to my WONDERFUL husband's efforts and loose lips:-) And thanks to Jen too!

I will hopefully have real baby news to report Friday afternoon:-) God Bless!

31 weeks, so busy, & Jake's baaaaaccccckkkkkk!

1 Timothy 4:8

For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come. (NKJV)

I like this verse...it helps me to realize that during this season of essentially no physical exercise, it's ok-because my walk with God (spiritual exercise) helps me in all ways and holds promise for this life and for eternal life (that which is to come). This verse comes to mind this week specifically because of my newly diagnosed gestational diabetes. It seems physical exercise would help this condition, but I of course can not exercise so I have additional challenges with good blood sugar control. Honestly, so far, it's not been so bad. I'm only on small amounts of insulin twice a day and it's given in a shot in this cool pen that you dial up the number of units and just push a button-super easy. It's way easier than drawing up a syringe. Anyway, that aspect of life is going pretty well and it has kept me busy with extra appts and paying attention to the time for blood sugar checks, etc.

I am again happy to be at a new milestone in gestation-31 weeks! Only 6 weeks to go (at least that's the plan). I feel well and just a little overwhelmed after almost 3 months of barely caring for myself, to be caring for Jacob again. He's a handful (to say the least) but he is a sweet 3 year old and is managable. He finally warmed up to me a little more today and sat on my lap for about a half hour and looked at pictures with me and then we sang the abc's. It may not sound like much but coming from the kid who's back home saying things like "Daddy, I love you. And I love TJ. And I like mommy."-it's wonderful. Ah, the joys of mommihood-always next best. I know if he got a boo-boo or is scared, he'll come runnin'. Another nice thing today-he was lying on my lap this afternoon and fell asleep. Owen must've kicked him in the noggin 25 times but apparently Mr. Thick Skull (Jacob), was unaffected. It was very sweet to have him nap on me:-).

I have a check-up here in Lafayette with Dr. Sinnott Friday. Just routine stuff, hopefully. Oh yeah, I have a huge praise to share: we've been working with HMO because apparently, all the Indy visits and testing should've been pre-approved (and they weren't because we didn't know any better) but we were able to get back-dated requests on everything from before and even some authorizations for more genetic testing my Indy MD's want to do AND it was all approved! :-) A huge blessing because everything costs A LOT! So, I am traveling to Indy tomorrow (Thursday) for some more testing. Unfortunately, the tests are projected to take 4 weeks (or more) but I just think of them as formality and if we get any results from them, they will just help us better project care for Owen. I also go back for a growth comparison ultrasound Friday the 3rd.

We appreciate your continued prayers for both Owen's and my health. As we are in the midst of week 11 1/2 of bedrest, I know Tim and the boys are also strained and tired. God has been very gracious to us and we continue to find comfort in Him in these times of challenges, confusion and even frustration. He is always good.

30 weeks and Shock & Awe

Romans 12:12

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

I am rejoicing to be 30 weeks today. Yesterday, I woke up to a phone call from my doctor's office (Dr. Sinnott who is wonderful)~his nurse Linda is who called actually (who is also WONDERFUL). She called to tell me that delivering here in Lafayette would be ok per Dr. Sinnott and Dr. Chua (the neonatalogist). Which is a relief and has been a concern since the Indy MD's have recommended delivering in Indy.

Then she proceeded to say, "hey, while I have you on the phone, I'll look up Friday's lab results." Which were all great until she got to the glucose level from my 1 hour glucose tolerance test. Oops, just barely failed it. Never failed one with my other pregnancies so I wasn't too worried. I even tried to talk her out of the 3 hour diagnostic test to check for gestational diabetes, but she managed to get me in right away this morning (yea). So, after spending the morning at the office getting the 4 blood draws, I came home and spent the afternoon resting. TJ arrived home and the phone rang. Linda said, you failed miserably (she said it nicer though) and will have to see the endocrinologist. I'll call you back to let you know when I can get you in. Moments later, she calls back and says, "can you head over TODAY at 4pm?"...sure, I have nothing better to do.

So, before I know it, I'm in an office learning how to check my own blood sugar and give myself insulin!!! Craziness! I'm teetering between laughter and horror. Well, this gives me something else to do. Owen and I are a great pair-we can't seem to get anything right this pregnancy.

So, now I'm back home (Tim's out doing a show;-) and have all this to process. I'm not overly concerned, yet I DO know that Insulin dependent gestational diabetes is (or can be) a big deal and must be taken seriously. As if you didn't have enough to pray for us about? The good news is, either I'm so shell shocked about this new development that I'm numb or I just have a blessed peace that God is showing me how good He is and how in control of this whole situation HE IS! It's His plan, so I guess I finally am to the point where I am saying "whatever you say God...it's your plan. I'll take what you have for me."

I think that's it for the news for now. Owen is moving about like the crazy baby he is. The boys are all well and we are so thankful for everything everyone is doing for us to ease the challenges we've faced. I'm feeling more hopeful again and so appreciate your prayers (and continued prayers;-). Jacob will be returning to us this weekend. My mom and brother Andrew will be making the 6 hour trip from Wisconsin to bring him home. They have been so wonderful to care for Jacob so selflessly. I know it will be hard on them to give Jake back (that sounds weird). We are praying Jacob makes an easy transition back to us and can understand (as much as a 3 yr-old can) how things must be during the day while I am still on bedrest. The light activity is going well, so my doctor felt it would be ok to let us (me) try to care for Jake during the day. He won't get the outtings he's used to but I will try to do a variety of things with him while he waits for TJ to come home from school and then Tim to come home from work. I am at peace about it and believe it will go well. I don't know when I'll update next as I don't have any plans for anything to be worth reporting for a while;-) But, I'll post sooner than later I'm sure. Thanks for checking in.

29 weeks & 2 appt updates

Psalm 130:5

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.

No news is good news, right? That's kinda how I feel right now after a very long day (Thursday). I feel hopeful, yet very down, and somewhat alone. I guess it's the toll of 10 weeks of bedrest and concern for Owen.

Appt #1 Thursday: The geneticist was very kind and took lots of time with us. They were very thorough and he seemed very certain of the few things he could tell regarding Owen. He did not have the concern the Perinatalogist had about Owen's head. He was able to point out all the suture lines in Owen's skull, which were open, and not fused which is good. (Sutures are the openings in the skull baby's must have to be able to be born and have a moldable head-plus, they give us room for our brains to grow and then they gradually close thru childhood.)

He confirmed that all of Owen's limbs are proportionately small and his chest is small also-a bit smaller than his limbs. Which leads him to best guess that Owen does have a less common type of skeletal or bone dysplasia (also known as dwarfism). The biggest concern with his chest size is that his respiratory system wouldn't be strong enough to support himself and he may need assistance with a ventilator. He recommended further tests (to aide in diagnosis) but they are expensive and may not tell us anything (and they take 4 weeks to run). So we are checking with our insurance to see if they will cover the tests.

Owen is also breech which concerns me and is uncomfortable to carry with his head in my ribs and feet dancing on my bladder. Next up? I have to return for a follow up ultrasound in 3 weeks, mostly just to monitor growth and assess for any further complications that may arise between now and then. My bedrest with very light activity is going ok, but frankly, I have no endurance and my muscles are very weak so being up is painful and exhausting.

Appt #2 Friday: Dr. Sinnott was great as usual. He's my regular OB and it was just the routine check up. He did decide to do a round of shots called betamethasone, which is 2 shots of steroids given a day apart to help Owen's lung tissue further develop in the event that he would deliver early. Dr. Sinnott did say if Owen doesn't turn from breech to head down, that I would have to have a c-section, which isn't such a surprise but I don't want one and was hopeful that there may be some options to try first, but no luck. No other changes in my care. Return check-up in 2 weeks is what's up next.

By the way, I made it to 29 weeks as of this past Tuesday. Only 6 1/2 weeks to go!

On a positive note, Jacob is coming home to us next weekend assuming no catastrophes occur in the meantime;-) I am hopeful that he will be a good boy and not too much of a handful for me to take care of during the day.

Please continue to be praying for us... Specifically:

~For Owen's health, his growth, and that he would turn head down.
~Also that our insurance would cover all the tests and care in the future and that we've already had.
~My health is a continual concern as well with the blood pressure and preterm labor that is possible.
~That Jacob would be able to come home next weekend, that he would have a safe trip, and that I would be able to care for him.
~More days have been hard than easy for me lately. As I said above I really feel very down and alone, and I am not sleeping well-so please continue to pray that I remain hopeful and trusting in God.

Nothing is impossible with God...He loves Owen more than even I do and will be faithful in His care for us.

Finally...not bad news

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

The call from the genetic counselor finally came this afternoon. I am so relieved to have confirmation that Owen's tests all came back negative for the types (only 3) of skeletal dysplasia they can test for. So, this is what this news means to me. It means he doesn't have the one type they can test for that I was dreading he may have because it was a type that wasn't compatable with life. I have more hope now that whatever he does have, we can deal with. I am still leary heading back to Indy this Thursday that they will again douse my hopes with more bad news but on the other hand, I am hopeful that nothing they could tell me would be something untreatable. Thank you so much for your prayers! Please continue to pray for our upcoming appt this Thursday. Praise God!

Quick update

I spoke with the genetic counselor today. We are scheduled for next Thursday the 12th at IU Med Center with a geneticist (for another high level ultrasound). She also hopes to have the amnio results possibly as early as this Friday but definitely by the appt next week.

Please pray for me to be more encouraged (today was a very down day) and that we would get the results of the amnio quickly. Please also pray that the geneticist would be able to properly diagnose Owen as I hear often ultrasound diagnoses are incorrect.

After this recent appt I have less hope for Owen's health. I know I just need to trust in God and accept that His plan is perfect even when I don't get it (or like it).

28 weeks and Appt update

I know it's a little blurry but the photo above is a side view or profile shot of Owen putting his thumb to his mouth. The image to the left of his hand is umbilical cord;-)

This is a profile (side view) of Owen's Head/face and chest, the blob at the top is the placenta for inquiring minds:-)

Psalm 139:13,14

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I had to read all of the previous verses just to write this update to remind myself of what I TRULY believe...

I believe I just need to trust in God. (Proverbs 3:5,6)

I believe I need to rejoice in the Lord and present my requests to him. (Philippians 4:4-7)

I believe I can do all things with the strength of the Lord. (Philippians 4:13)

I believe that God is the creator of both GOOD and BAD times and we should praise Him for both. (Ecclesiastes 7:14)

I believe I must have hope in the Lord and He will help me and renew my strength. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

And I believe that facing trials will develop in me perseverance. (James 1:2-3)

With all these truths...I still write today with heavy heart and a need to JUST rest in the Lord.

Today's visit included just an ultrasound and consultation with the perinatalogist. It was evident as the tech was doing measurements, that while Owen has grown about 2 weeks of growth in 2 weeks (good of course), that there are concerns now beyond just his small size (his size is approximately 1 pound 14 oz, whereas he should be around 2 pounds 4 oz). The amnio results were not back (and are expected to take even up to a week MORE) but the specialist now does believe that Owen has a form of Skeletal Dysplasia (Dwarfism) that is not a "common type" and she is having us come back as soon as a geneticist can be lined up to be present at another ultrasound to attempt to diagnose Owen's condition (no guarantees a diagnosis can be made).

I struggle with giving too many details and confusing/concerning you all, so I'll try to explain what I do know. The specific concerns are his chest circumference (size is less than the 2.5%) is very small (and once born not good for lung capacity/being able to breathe on your own). In addition, the shape of his head and the circumference seem to have worsened (hard to simplify what this means exactly).

I don't even know what all this means. I don't want to give up hope that Owen will be a healthy baby, regardless of the body that God gives him, but with that, I want to be realistic and prepared as much as I can be.

I will have to update again as soon as I know the next appt date. I also wanted to share that my "very light activity" is going ok, but after 8 weeks, I'm just too tired to do much of anything (physically) so it's not hard to still take it easy. I am still "officially" on bedrest, the difference is I can now just sit up some instead of constant sidelying positions and I can get up and wipe the counter off if it needs it or put my own messes away instead of having servant type service where I literally only got up to go to the bathroom, microwave food, or shower. So, it's better but still bedrest.

I am very thankful to hit an important gestational milestone in pregnancy, 28 weeks. I am thankful to feel the SO strong movements of this precious baby that grows inside me. I am thankful for my loving, serving husband and my beautiful healthy boys that I am so very blessed with. I am thankful for my health. And I am thankful for my salvation~I don't know how so many people in this world go through life without a Savior and hope for eternal life in Heaven. I pray if you are reading this that you have the same saving Faith in the Lord, but if you don't~you CAN!!! Please ask me about it!

Trial...

James 1:2-3

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

The word trial usually has a negative connotation, doesn't it? Well, finally I have a trial that seems positive:-). At my appt today my doctor was pleased enough with my recent blood pressures, etc that he approved a "trial" of very light activity. I was so relieved, I teared up. It's almost hard to imagine eating dinner at the table again or sitting on the porch watching TJ ride his bike. I've been such a hermit for 8 weeks, it's almost scary to enter the world again.

Ok, so let's be realistic...very light activity isn't a trip to the mall or walk around our neighborhood, and it's certainly not entering the world again, but I'll take what I can get. And, even better-if all goes well with this trial and no new reasons to resume strict bedrest arise at the Indy appt, my doctor also said we could resume care for Jakey again. A HUGE praise! So, I'll get back to you on that.

So, what was on tap for my first afternoon after almost 8 weeks of strict bedrest??? Well, I was so exhausted by my outing, I took a long nap. How's that for light activity?:-) Pathetic, I know. I did come downstairs after the nap and straighten up just a few things in the kitchen-and then took my blood pressure and it stunk! Hopefully, it was a fluke and will settle back down as TJ and I take it easy this evening with a couple movies we rented.

Up next, the appt in Indy Tuesday where a repeat ultrasound will be done and hopefully more results from the amnio will be available. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Amnio news

Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

The genetic counselor called...mixed news is causing me mixed emotions and more questions. And, I am feeling weary. The chromosomal study came back all completely normal, which is of course, GREAT news! The study for the skeletal dysplasias will likely take another week or more. Yeah, more waiting! After asking more questions about the skeletal dysplasias study, the are really only looking for 3 different types (out of hundreds), none of the 3 does Owen have typical findings of anyway, so I don't feel like I'm waiting on anything except another problem to be ruled out.

The plan now is to watch his growth and head shape. We may need to have a geneticist (sp?) present for an ultrasound to help in diagnosing, if he is diagnosable at all. Or, Owen may just have a growth problem and we will have to wait until he is born to see how we can best care for him. The problem with this theory for me is that the blood flow to him and placenta functions were confirmed as being adequate.

I feel like I know less than when we started, but am very relieved that there are no chromosomal abnormalties-that really is huge! Everyone has dreams of a healthy, normal child~I struggle with not knowing if Owen will have that chance, even though I know God is in control of it ALL.

The genetic counselor again brought up issues of us needing to discuss delivering in Indy depending on further findings. All of these thoughts and uncertainties are wearing on me. I don't want to deliver with another doctor, another hospital, and nurses I don't know:-(

At this point, aside from waiting to confirm he doesn't have the 3 common dysplasias, we will be monitored (as we have been) with repeated ultrasounds and frequent check-ups. And while not knowing is way better than having horrible news, it doesn't make waiting that much easier.

Please keep praying for Owen's health and growth. Pray also that I'd be able to continue resting in the Lord while I wait these remaining 10 weeks (assuming I make it to 37 weeks).

I also wanted to share that today is Jacob's official 3rd birthday. He called this am and it was very sad to hear him say how he wants to come back to his new house (which is his way of saying he wants to be here). It's hard on my mom too, to hear him sad and whiny while she tries so hard to keep him happy with them. Please think of this situation in you prayers also. It's heart wrenching to me, but I praise God that he (Jacob) has had 3 wonderful years with us to bless our lives!

The next updates won't come until after the Friday appt unless I have something earth shattering to share, and even then, it probably won't be very exciting:-) Thanks for checking in.

27 weeks today

Ecclesiastes 7:14

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.

This is a timely verse for me...My "times" right now I wouldn't define as good, nor bad~but I do need to remember that both good and bad times the Lord has made. He's planned them for me. In fact, He designed them specifically for my life. So many people look to God during bad times but seldom give Him credit nor praise for the abundance of "good" times we bask in. By the way, I'm guilty of this too...but I hope to be more grateful and praise filled in the good times in my future.

Speaking of good times...Wahoo!!! I've OFFICIALLY entered the 3rd trimester! I had my doubts 7 weeks ago when all these complications started (and so did my doctor). So a HUGE praise to God for getting me to this point. I'm healthy, my blood pressure is staying well controlled and I have a precious baby moving about inside of me-none of which we thought there was a good chance of 7 weeks ago.

Ah, for the bad times...ok, so not really bad times-but definatley perserverance building times. Yes, I'm still waiting to hear about the amnio results. It's day 8 of the 7-10 day wait...ugh.

What's next? Aside from waiting for these reults, Friday we'll see my OB for my routine appt~oh, an outting-such adventure for me!

Don't have much else to report so I'll try something new and sign off without going on and on about the same ole, same ole:-)

Hope to update you more soon!

Homecoming and birthday smiles

Jacob's visit

Hebrews 12:11

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

We enjoyed having Jacob home with us this weekend. It was a weekend with many ups and downs for me personally, but I think Jacob had a wonderful birthday and am extremely grateful to my mom (Rebecca), Stepdad Andy, and brother Zach for bringing him back down here to us and making a very special birthday ensue for Jacob. They have been an enormous blessing as they've cared for Jacob all these weeks while I've been on bedrest.

It was very neat when he got here. Though it was late and he was sleepy, he embraced both Tim and I with big hugs and kisses and cuddles. He then went about exploring and very cutely began smelling everything in the house. He would say "the couch smells good, the chair smells good" and so on and so forth. It made me realize how much he likes the smells of home. He also honed in on a huge gift pile as we had all the gifts arranged in an area (gifts from his other grandparents Debbie and Walter and others as well). He quickly picked up a small gift and said "this looks interesting"...my handful of words two year old came home a chatty 3 year old.

I found myself (early on when he was first back) enjoying his sweetness and finding pure joy just watching him and listening to him. I even was thinking how we, as parents, just really need to enjoy these little blessings and serve them. I was contemplating how great a mom I could be from now on....then my little angel started being "himself" again, the honeymoon was over and my thoughts of the angelic son and my would be perfect parenting went out the window!

Discipline...they need so much of it (as do we)!!! I found myself constantly wanting to or needing to correct him for everything from not speaking kindly, not being grateful, OBEDIENCE, etc. It's not stuff we can ignore nor let up on. If we don't, we won't experience (nor will they) the second part of the verse above-the peaceful fruit of righteousness. I know this means "the good stuff"...it's painful to experience correction but joyful to live at peace and do what's right. How would our children ever learn this principle if we didn't teach it to them?

I can't believe I forgot how tiring it is to parent a 3 yr old. And it's loud. And it's messy. And I'm lying here cooking another one so I can do it all over AGAIN! :-) But, with all this, there is still true joy along the journey. Like hearing those glorious 4 little words "I love you mommy".

All is otherwise well. Jacob and the grandparents start their travels back this afternoon. Jacob will continue staying with my mom until we feel we can care for him again as consistently as she is (which would pretty much require me being off bedrest, which I'm not). Please pray for their safety and his doing well while he's away from us (and vise versa). It was heart breaking as he left saying he wanted to stay at his new house. Having him visit made me realize I miss him a lot! But, he's best off there and God is gracious to've provided such a nurturing and supportive environment for him during this short season of life.

Tomorrow (Monday) is 7 days since the amnio so, it's possible we may get some news. 7-10 days is what they told us for results...so maybe:-) Please continue to pray that our Sovereign God would be glorified through the results (or lack thereof) and we would continue to trust in Him.

Lastly, selfishy, I ask for prayer for myself. I have concern (dread actually) that the days will grow longer now with not much to look "forward" to in the near future. I can already feel the lump in my throat thinking of things not so positive. I was focusing on this visit from Jacob and now without anything like that to keep me joyful, I will really have to pull it together and think on what's right and true all the more. So, anyway please pray I keep positive and joyful while waiting on the results and continuing with bedrest. Regardless of the results, I likely have 2 1/2 more months of bedrest (I can't believe I've done it for 7 weeks already).

Hope to update you more soon! I'll also have Tim try to upload some pictures from the weekend.

News already?

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

I've finally taken the plunge...I'm going to blog and let you all into my mind-scary, I know. My goal is to pass along updates as I'm given info instead of the mass e-mails so frequently. So now, you can log on anytime and check for new news. I have 2 disclaimers though. I've never mastered the art of saying as few of words as necessary to get a point across. Second, I think faster than I type so typos and grammer issues will abound. If you were looking for a gramatical work of art each post, you'll be dissapointed:-). I think of my posts as more conversational.

To update today: I received a call from the genetic counselor. She already had news to share. I was quite shocked but am very happy to report that Owen has none of the trisomies they wanted to rule out (like Down's etc) and has just one X and one Y chromosome which of course confirms he's a boy, but also let's us know he doesn't have extra sex chromosomes or a deletion of any either.

I feel ok today after the amnio but am suprised at how much I ache. But I'm fine and feel blessed to have this little guy swimming all around reminding me why I lay here.

TJ went to school today because his strep test came back negative, and he stayed afebrile through the night and didn't have much of a sore throat this morning. He's a trooper.

Jacob called this morning-he was so animated to tell me all about decorating with Grama for Halloween. He's so excited to come home this weekend for his birthday. He's also stayed free of accidents with potty training-thank you Grama Becca!

One last note. I just wanted to share my sincere appreciation for all the Love, prayers, meals, cards, calls, etc that have been poured out to us. God has been so good and so faithful to provide and I pray He mightily blesses each of you for your generosity. It's near unimaginable how He's orchestrated everything to come together for us. I give all the praise and glory to Him for the peace He's given me~I really would not be able to get through this time without my saving Faith in Him. I'll end on that note.

Thanks for checking out the blog, I'll post again soon!

26 week update

Philippians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Here us the update from my appt today September 19th~Hope this is not too many details~

Again, not such good news. It was a whirlwind of information...it began with an Ultra Sound confirming that the baby is very small. Specifically, they noted that while his head is properly sized for my dates, it does have a slightly abnormal shape, and his arms, legs, and abdomen measure about 3 weeks small. AN amniocentisis was recommended and we had to speak with a genetic counselor that explained what they could and couldn't look for/find with the amnio. We decided to proceed with it (it took 2 minutes) and were sent home with the following definate pieces of information:
-My amniotic fluid volume is normal.
-The blood flow to the baby and the placenta are normal.
-The major trisomies like down's syndrome, etc were not obvious on the ultrasound but only the amnio can 100% rule these things out.
-The baby has no apparent heart, lung, or brain abnormalities-in other words except for the short limbs and head shape, nothing is obvious for a diagnosis nor are the skeletal findings.

I asked the doctor what she thought they would find if she had to guess and she said likely a skeletal dysplasia or chromosome issue but she couldn't be very sure. A skeletal dysplasia would be a type of dwarfisim of which there are over 100 types. Some are lethal-the most common ones are not.

We must now wait 7-10 days for the amnio results and we will be called by the genetic counselor everytime a test result arrives (the first will likely rule out the trisomies). We will return to her office in 2 weeks to check on the baby's growth again. (Tuesday Oct 3rd). I think that's it.

Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray-specifically that I would have no problems recovering from the amnio, that in waiting I don't grow impatient or irrational with concern, that we would continue to trust in the Lord-He created this baby and loves him-He will take care of all are needs and will not give us more than we can handle, and of course that little Owen would continue to grow and the results would show the best news possible, quickly.
Oh yes, and that my blood pressure would stay under control.
Lastly, TJ came home from school yesterday with fever and was still with fever this am. We had to take him with us to Indy, but he was very good. Now home, I've noticed his throat is very swollen (and sore) and looks to be strep (we've pleaded with his MD to just call in an antibiotic since it isn't practical to get him in for an appt-still waiting on this news***Update-Dr. Ho made a house call a is running a rapid strep test-what a Saint!). Please pray that he would recover quickly and none of us would come down with his symptoms.
Jacob (my almost 3 yr old) will be coming home this weekend for his birthday and then will go back to Wisconsin again with my mom. Please pray their travels are safe (about 6 hours) and he will do well seeing us for the first time in 6 weeks and again that no one gets sick.

We appreciate your continued prayers and support!

How it all got started

Our story:

Proverbs 3:5 & 6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. We are the Valiant Family, comprised of Tim & Renay and our precious boys TJ, Jacob, and hopefully soon to be Owen (due 12-26-06). We started this blog simply to keep in contact in a simple fashion with family and friends both local and far. This pregnancy with carrying little Owen has been full of trials to say the least. It starts back in April when a positive test got us quite excited about the prospect of a new little one but soon was cause for concern when no baby was found via ultrasound. In fact, my doctor thought the pregnancy was ectopic and instructed us to cancel our cruise we'd earned through The Pampered Chef. Desparate for wisdom, we prayed, and asked my MD for an HCG test~ which resulted in an extremely low number. So, we took a leap of Faith and drove our 20 hour trip to Florida to board our 4 day cruise. I was no stranger to pregnancy complications as a previous miscarraige and then infertility with both boys had prepared me for anything-so I thought. So, once on our cruise, I felt well with the exception of a bit of nausea. The Lord really worked it all out and blessed us with a wonderful "honeymoon" since we'd never been on one. Back home, we went right in for a 2nd HCG test and ultrasound where this time the HCG did as it should and multiplied and the ultrasound showed a small sac-no heart beat though...You may be wondering-did you not have any idea how far along you were? That's correct! With infertility and irregular periods, it makes it difficult to keep track. This particular instance was complicated by an LMP of 2-5-06 yet a guesstimate of conception around the end of March. I actually had the positve test on April 16th and then 2 days later got that first news of the probability of problems-mostly because my doctor thought I could easily be 8 weeks along. An ultrasound on May 9th confirmed a heartbeat and we were elated-especially because I had such all day sickness and no appetite and was dropping weight (no worries, I have some to loose:-). Our due date was given via this early ultrasound as December 26th~which is supposed to be extremely accurate. Other than the usual early pregnancy stuff and our move into our new home in July, all was great. Then around the middle of July, I woke up in the middle of the night with severe pain. I guessed it could be my gallbladder, though I'd never had any issues like it before. After a while of wondering and hurting, the pain subsided and I went on thinking maybe I was just so tired that I overreacted. About a week later, again-middle of the night, lots of pain...this time I didn't shrug it off and called my MD in the am. They were able to get me right in for both my baby and gallbladder ultrasounds. I was 18 weeks at this point. The baby looked great-confirmed as another boy and my gallbladder looked bad. I was referred to a surgeon by the end of the week and was encouraged to learn that while I needed surgery, it could wait. Whew, who wants surgery while pregnant? Ahhhh...smooth sailing-time to get the house put together after the move-screeeechhhhhh...The brakes were put on that idea Sunday August 6th. It was during our Sunday evening church service that pain started in. My first non-middle of the night attack? Yep, it just got worse and worse over the next 4 hours and I finally had Tim rush me to the hospital. Pregnancy gestation=19 weeks 5 days. Medicine controlled the pain, but my blood pressure loomed seriously high even under good pain control and in a rested state. Finally, after 3 nights in the hospital (no current gall bladder concerns), and my blood pressure still registering dangerously high (180/110-my norm around 100/60 with no previous blood pressure issues ever) I was started on blood pressure medicine and a 2nd surgeon was consulted to explore removing my gall bladder. This surgeon thought it a reasonable decision...and we proceeded with laproscopic surgery Thursday August 10th. I stayed in the hospital thru Sunday the 13th when I was released on complete sidelying bedrest. Did I mention we have children-uh, a 2 yr old to be specific, a handful of a 2 yr old actually. So off to my mom's in Wisconsin Jacob went while TJ geared up for 1st grade that same week. The weeks of bedrest go by, and at 21 weeks an ultrasound shows about a 20 week size baby (the 18 week showed around a 17 week baby) and then the dreaded "stop us dead in our 'I guess bedrest alone wasn't so bad' tracks" 25 week ultrasound just this past Thursday September 14th came. I was actually 25 weeks and 2 days. It was the 3rd technician we'd had at this point and the measuring seemed to take forever. I was watching the screen and seeing head size around 25 weeks, then abdomen around 23 weeks and then femur and short leg bones around 22 weeks. "Don't worry I thought to myself as I lay there sickeningly silent. Tim asked me twice if I were ok. I was quiet and said "yea". Being that the tech wasn't so talkative nor friendly I was concerned. Our appt with the doctor was to follow with a short drive across town and I prayed the whole way. I can't remember what I prayed-but I PRAYED! At the appt we already had some humor planned for our doctor with a small gift of the easy button-ya know, the one from Staples? When you push it, it says "that was easy"...he got a kick out of it. I forgot to mention that the Monday before the Tuesday when I turned 25 weeks I went to the hospital overnight for contractions and had to stay for 10 hours or so while they worked to slow things down. So, at our appt, our point in the easy button, was to tell our doctor that we wanted things to be easier so he should press it more often for us. It was light hearted and fun and helped ease the news that followed...we'd need to see a specialist for the baby since his measurements came out to just the 7th%...shocking! This baby that I feel move inside of me-that I can watch move inside of me through his strong kicks and rolls is dangerously small??? Not proportionately small either...and not with low amniotic fluid which one would usually see with a baby this small. I was crushed. Waiting for the appt to be scheduled in Indy seemed like an eternity (a grand 2 hours)-I spent the time e-mailing asking for prayer and calling some for prayer as well. Just after telling the news to my dear friend Kara and hanging up, the phone rung with the appt day and time. Thank God! Only 4 days to wait and wonder...we'd see the perinatalogist Tuesday the 19th, the day I turn 26 weeks. That brings us to the current point of wondering and waiting. I've looked up everything I can on the net and gotten nothing encouraging from that info so I've stopped searching and have just done what I should've done to begin with-TRUST. I am trusting in God. He made this baby. He's blessed me with being able to feel both tiny and big movements the baby makes...He's given us 2 healthy children to riase for Him. He loves this baby more than anyone on Earth ever could and He doesn't make mistakes. The whole situation that has come about has given us so many ways to bring Glory to Him...so MANY people are praying for us and for Owen's health. God may choose to bless us with a healthy baby, a sick baby, or memories of a time of great growth and glory that we've been able to give to Him through Owen's short life so far. None of us know, but we can pray~and we must wait. Hopefully answers on Tuesday will yield a miracle and great joy for us. Regardless, in our weakness, He is strong and I'd rather bring glory to Him through my pain than be joyful without my Saviour. Thanks for reading our story of how this all started...hopefully, Lord Willing-weeks of updates will ensue and we can praise God together on this journey. ~Renay