Ramblings...

For we walk by faith, not sight.

2 Corinthians 5:7

So as these pictures show, I can spend thousands of dollars on Owen's noggin contraption but these silly boys can put on dollar store goggles and voila! asymmetry city. Isn't it funny how hard we work to keep our kids healthy, etc but they enjoy looking silly from time to time. Anyway, thanks to Grandma Debbie for their care package, they love all their little trinkets and treats! They have near outworn the goggles already and they aren't even near the water!!!

I had a phone consult with Cranial tech today and Ginny (his orthotist/PT) just said we are going to have to really work with Owen to get this going again. He now has an open sore from his sensitive skin rubbing on things like the fabric of his swing and car seat. I am now going to try neosporin (sp?) and a band aid...go figure. At least he doesn't have much hair;-) We do get to evade our Monday journey to Chicago since he hasn't worn the band all week. Please, PLEASE, pray for his quick healing so we can get it back on again-I truly believe it was working. His response with the pressure spots are atypical but not unheard of. His head shape and fair skin are just 2 strikes against him-but we ARE NOT counting him out-and I WILL GO DOWN SWINGING!!!!

Of other interest-me...I usually don't talk about me unless it's my mood or in relation to parenting-so beware, this may be a bit boring but it's therapeutic (sp?) for me to get it out so here goes...

On the way home from Owen's surgery, I got a call from my personal MD's nurse. She relays how the doctor NEEDS to see me. I had an appt Monday but the Gary Catastrophe hindered things a bit. So, she proceeds to say that some of my labs were abnormal...as I think-oh great, here goes, I'm dying, I have cancer-no, a tumor!

Not so. I have EXTREMELY high cholesterol, high triglycerides, and to put a cherry on top of that medical sundae-high liver enzymes. How high you ask? I could tll you but then... you know the rest of the line. It's too unmentionable to type. I'm no newbie to this, pardon me, crap...I've had "issues" since college. I've always controlled it with diet and exercise. But the Owen/bedrest excuse made me forget my myriad of "fat" issues and I've proceeded to live by the Renay watchers diet. You know, the one where Renay eats and watches the scales climb in number? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I knew better, now I must suffer. Oh, not just the typical suffering-but this kind.

At work the other night, I was in my fabulous powder blue scrubs in a c-section. The pedi for the case is one I know pretty well and she asks as the case is wrapping up, "DO you have something to tell me that maybe I haven't heard about already?

(Music from psycho with the woman in the shower screaming runs thru my head) I say no, I'm just fat, Owen's only 7 months old. Ugh.

She (and I) wanted to rewind time-what a dumb question to ask. I deserved it though.

Truth is, I weigh more now than I did at delivery (even with water weight from my death-defying pre-eclampsia act)....

So sad. So, so, very sad. Pathetic really.

So, I'm doomed. Let the dieting begin. If you have any tips that work for you (aside from abstaining from a cotton candy/milk chocolate laden regimen...oh and they must be POSITIVE-I know I caused my health issues, I'm not dumb-just stupid.) I'd be happy to accept tips. For official diagnosis my main problem areas are self control, emotional eating, night-time eating, sedentary life style-the most weight I lift is my 12 pound baby;-), and general lack of good nutrition/exercise.

Of note, I do not drink juice, nor sugary soda, however, I drink Diet Pepsi like it's a food group. I also don't care for milk and I LOVE SUGAR!!!! Yum! I also have normal blood sugar and normal blood pressure (2 balls)...I do have genetics (familial high cholesterol and heart disease (strike one) against me.

So, I guess I should go now and continue on with my hunger pang day. Hoorah! Think positive thoughts for me-but only ones that are calorie-free;-) Off to the health food section-double yum:-)

PS I think I may try bike riding for exercise-of course, I have no bike...but if you are local and have dust on yours, maybe we could swing a pchef trade? I also am in need of one of those trailer thingys for the kiddos.