Monday, August 20, 2007

Feeling neglected?

Psalm 119:11

Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You.

TJ is back in school...blah, blah, blah. That's what I've felt like blogging for the past week- I've been BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!

So, I didn't blog. Then my blog buddy Tonya (see Owey's blog buddy's link on right) blogged that she's been feeling that way so she didn't blog either. So, enough was enough and here I am again-aren't you glad. On this note, HELLO, HELLO (eerie static sound) Cat, are you out there? Blog again already!

I recently watched the new series game show The Power of 10. Here's the thing...I think I may not be "normal". It's a show about guessing about what percent of Americans would say for example "they've ever kissed a dog" or "they way themselves every day", etc. I am always soooo wrong. So, should I gauge my "normalcy" on a game show, probably not, but it's hard to not feel normal.

Why does it help me so, to feel others experience what I do? See, here I am contemplating deleting this entry. I'm insane. I thought it would help me to blog about dieting-not so much. I feel like a failure (maybe because I have, hmmmm.)

But anyway, TJ is back in school and Jacob starts preschool in the morning. This time last year I was on bedrest, my mom had Jacob, Owen was in my womb and I spent my days alone.

I'm having a hard time pushing past "what happened a year ago". Don't get me wrong...I feel INSANELY blessed to have Owen crawling around under foot, climbing on the fireplace, and pulling on the curtains (a Valiant boy 1st). I am glad to have Jacob home with us and now to the next step in life....preschool-what a big boy! I am really happy TJ is in school (for him, not so much for me, cause he is a huge help to have around-even to get to the bathroom without having to lock Owen up). What I'm most happy about is that we are so blessed to have TJ at Faith Christian school, and Jacob starting at Faith Christian Preschool.

Just tonight we were going over TJ's memory verse with him and asking him what it meant (I was asking b/c I wasn't so sure I understood the verse). How humbling it is to have your 7 year old giving you your Bible teaching. Anyway, we were using the verse above asking him why we learn Bible verses. He did an incredible job of answering much like the verse Psalm 119:11. What a testament for me...what a model.

What a tangenty (sp?) post? Sorry. See, need to delete, need to wait to post on a more stable day-did I just type STABLE? Ugh.

As if my 3 yr old's first day of preschool might be more stable than today? I think not. Speaking of today, we were supposed to go to Chicago for Owey's band check-we are in the FINAL stretch, I think.

But, the weather was too crazy with torrential down pours and storming so we delayed it to later in the week. Double ugh. Already forgot about Jacob at preschool and double scheduled.
Oh well, I'll figure it out.

On the Owey's home front...prayer request-Owen's having lots of choking/gagging spells. Mostly on his own saliva/spit. He also chokes on certain textures and of course, on clear liquids. I've been "wishing" this problem away. Hoping with growth and development he would "outgrow" it. But, it's actually worsened. So, we have a feeding evaluation coming up. In the meantime, frankly, I'm worried about the little booger. I try not to worry, but when he chokes, IT'S SCARY! And, it scares him. I need to journal the episodes so I know how often it really occurs. So, I'd appreciate your prayers. Also for me, since I'm having the mommy blues with the kids off to school, etc. Is that normal? Do other moms get "blue" when their kids go to school?

Speaking of that, let's talk more about feeling neglected...oh wait, I'm the one who felt neglect. I'm apparently insecure (stop typing, stop typing!!!) (and insane as I type to myself what I think) as while I neglected my blog, it seemed no one missed me. I like comments. Yep, definitely insecure. Better get some sleep so my eyes are only dark in the morning from being weepy for Jake off to school and not for being tired too-oh, who am I kidding, do I think it really matters? :-)

FYI Much of this post was for your entertainment. Please don't take me too seriously, nor schedule me an appt with a Psych MD;-)